Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Okay folks, I confess. Our kitties are lovable and mischievous, but DESPISE posing for being photographed. Such endeavors are only undertaken when tranquilizers (for us), catnip, good reflexes, and leather welding apron and gloves are available and in use. Since this is so time consuming, not even taking into consideration the problems involved trying to herd five cats into one location, I must rely on photos of cats of possibly inferior qualities but better temperaments and superior egos who gladly let their owners capture them in cute poses. I then rely on those proud owners (those 'owners' obviously being the aforementioned cats of large egos) leaving the photos laying around all over the Internet for all to pilfer for their own use. However, after they read the draft of this post, our Spellcheck Kitties contacted their business offices and have assured me that THEY themselves ARE available for hire by those finding themselves in need of their services in the fields of scratching furniture, chasing toys, eating huge quantities of nearly ANYTHING they can ingest, and playing with shiny objects that make noise (or not noisy, just shiny). All services of this nature can be arranged for a set fee that starts at 1 kg (2.2 lb) of catnip per cat per day, non-negotiable. Any requests for 'Spellcheck Kitty specific' services should be forwarded to Mike's house in Jay, Maine, USA, accompanied by a non-refundable one-time registration fee of five cans of 'Fancy Feast Tuna'. All such requests will be ignored by the Spellcheck Furballs as long as possible in the order in which they are received. Requests for photographic services should be sent to the uptight losers at their parent company at the following address:
Feline Photo Resources Manager
Attn: Head Foto Furball
Kitty Komputer Konsulting Korporation
c/o Mike's Mixed Memories
The Spellcheck Kitties asked me to tell readers that the idiot furbrains 'over there' will work for next to nothing, such as a little milk, cat chow, and a bit of petting, and that all requests made to head offices will be answered as soon as possible by the wimps on staff there. I did try to question our kitties as to why the services were so different and they politely refused to favor me with an answer, sort of. Until next time, take care.
ps...Please excuse any spelling errors as it's the Spellcheck Kitties' night off and I haven't time to correct this post as I hear the ambulance arriving to take me to get the claw marks sewn up and some pain killers. Seems I may have overstepped my boundaries by questioning the kitty employment conditions here.